Gloriously Mad!!!

So, what in the world kind of title for a blog post is "Gloriously Mad"?   Well, let me tell you.  It goes way back to my reluctancy to become an adoptive parent.  I think I've mentioned before that I came up with every excuse not to adopt.  I used financial arguments.  I used space in our home arguments.  I used the busy-ness of life arguments.  Whatever it was, I had a reason why it wasn't going to work for our family.  Now, in May of last year we made the decision to begin the process.  But even after that, I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around the whole picture.  Michelle began to show me some pictures of children that were available to adopt.  Through looking at the pictures, it made the process more real but they were still just pictures.  It was moving to see the need, but it was not personal.
So on October 1st, I attended a conference with Michelle in Indianapolis put on by our agency.  Michelle had attended the day before and she was pretty excited.  I went in with cautious optimism.  Optimistic because I knew this was the process that God had called us to...but cautious because it was still hard to just "put myself out there" and be totally vulnerable.  Vulnerable to the needs...vulnerable to my heart...vulnerable to God's will.  I know now that there is more comfort in being in God's will than one could ever know, but at the time the control-freak in me did not want to give up my handle on the situation.  (Ha, some handle.  I was clueless, was a basket-case emotionally, and would argue both sides of a topic which just added to my own confusion).   During this conference, we met Carolyn Twietmeyer.  Carolyn is the founder and director of Project Hopeful, an organization with a mission to educate, encourage, and enable families and individuals to advocate for and adopt children with HIV/AIDS.  I had the privilege of speaking with her husband, Kiel for a while.  What a man with a heart and passion for God.  He brought out the passion in me as well.  Carolyn shared their experience with the group during lunch.  They are a family of 16 with 7 biological children and 7 adopted children.  I'm fairly certain that if you looked in the dictionary under the term "passion for adoption", you would see a picture of Carolyn.  Their story is very inspiring and moving.  I truly believe that God was at this conference.  And I'm not sure, but I think He was looking for me there.  Remember the pictures of the children I was talking about?  You know, the ones that were just "pictures"?  I looked at them again, and I began to wonder if any of them could be our child.  Hmmm, it was starting to get personal.
     The conference was a wonderful teaching tool for adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, or anyone that was just intrigued by the idea.  There were many classes to attend with key speakers that had vast knowledge of the given subject.   In one of those classes we met Amy Moore.  Amy works for the agency that we are using but Michelle and I had not yet had the opportunity to meet her.   She is an adoptive parent and had shared her own struggles with the idea, the process, the transition and so on.  But she would not change a thing.  In fact, it was through her adoption that God pointed out to her a passion that I gathered she did not realize that she had.  People would ask her, "why would you want to adopt a child internationally"?  She tried to give answers that people would understand.  She tried to "reason" with people that quite honestly might not have been able to be reasoned with.  She gave statistics and facts and thoughts and feelings and then, after being asked the question again she, gave her best answer...."Why Not!!!!"
     Why not?   Why not adopt?  God, why don't people adopt?  Why not us?  Why not you?   Suddenly, with two little words I started looking at the whole thing differently.  Scripture started flowing through my head.  James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:  to look after orphans and widows in their distress".    Isaiah 1:17 "Learn to do good.  Seek justice. Help the oppressed.  Defend the cause of orphans.  Fight for the rights of widows".  Matthew 18:5 "and anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me".    These aren't cute little sayings.  They aren't even flippant suggestions.  These are commands from God in His Holy Word.  
     Suddenly, every one of my excuses for why we couldn't do it were destroyed.  We don't have the finances to adopt.  WHY NOT?  Because we want our 500 cable channels more than a child needs a home?   Because my high-speed internet and my smart phone bill and my car payment and my gym membership are all more important to me than a human life?
     We don't have the room for another child in our house.  WHY NOT?  Because the clothes that our kids have now won't all cram into a smaller space while children around the world are lucky to have the clothes on their backs, let alone a different shirt to change into?   Because it would be a little crowded for one of our kids to share a room while in Africa a family of 14 shares a one room hut for living, dining, and sleeping? 
     We don't have time in our lives for another child.   WHY NOT?  Because we are so selfish with our biological children that we would rather pursue whole-heartedly their material wants rather than to show them what a Godly love for mankind looks like?  I have to admit, this last one has been hard.  I love my children and want to give them everything.  But I'm learning that "giving them everything" is starting to look more and more like "giving" them nothing and instead just loving them, sharing the needs of the world, talking about their relationship with Jesus Christ.  Yes, those two words hit my ears and God said, "Aha.  That's it".  (As if He was shocked.. HA!)  He knew why He had me there.  Suddenly I felt embarrassed for all of my past excuses.  Suddenly, my head finally caught up with my heart.  Instead of thinking "logically", I began thinking with compassion.  I allowed myself to fully feel what I had been supressing for so long.  All of the emotion that I had kept bottled up was pouring out.  And I was mad.   Gloriously mad.  No more excuses because they couldn't hold water any longer.  It made me mad.  No more reasons to be able to keep my emotions in check.  It made me mad.    No more being sentimental about the plight of the orphan but never being personal about the plight of OUR orphan.  Oh, I was mad.  Gloriously mad.  God had opened my eyes to all of my past....yuck.   And I was done with it.  "Honey, we need to go over their and get our child.  Whatever we need to do, rush the paperwork, call somebody, whatever.  Our child is there."  Suddenly the urgency set in. 
   Today, instead of spending my time worrying about bills, or time, or deadlines...I find myself thinking about our child.  And about other children.   Worldwide.  There is an epidemic out there.  I had always thought that once we get our child home we would just be a "normal" family raising three young children instead of two.  We'll adapt.  We'll blend in.  Things will get back to normal.   I no longer feel that way, because I know that as long as there are children in the world that need a forever family that Michelle and I will not be able to be complacent.   We will work diligently to follow God's call on our lives to educate and bring awareness to this problem!  Will we spread the word to others and share our experiences and passions so that more children might find their forever families?...Why not?    Will we adopt again ourselves?...Who knows, but why not?
   So I guess that just leaves one last question.......What's your "Why Not?"