A New Way of Thinking?

Something has struck me, recently, about the way that we look at things.  Let's take for instance the Israelites as they fled from Egypt.  After a while, they began to complain and there was murmuring that they wished they could just go back to Egypt because at least there they had food and shelter and they knew what they could expect.  As we, today, read these passages I am assuming we take one of a couple different stances on the subject.  We either feel sorry for them for not realizing the promise that was set before them, or we think of them as ridiculous for just not getting it.  Their restlessness and disobedience just kept getting them into more trouble.  All because they couldn't just be patient and wait on the Lord.  But as I've pondered that, I realize that both reactions that we might have are based on the fact that we have the benefit of knowing the outcome.  We don't have to have faith about leaving Egypt because we can simply turn a few pages and read how Joshua escorted them into the promised land.  It's easy for us to be judgemental when we know the outcome and we see others "just not getting it." 
     This has been on my mind this week because I've been looking at things a little backwards.  I've been looking at them from my point of view.  In the world of adoption, we often use the phrase "It's not about you."   I believe that with all of my heart, and yet I have found it at times to be difficult to actually incorporate that thinking into the process.  Our family and friends help us to get the word out by saying, "come to our fundraiser to help raise money for the Stewart family."   We sit in small groups and here our supportive friends saying, "how can we pray for you guys in your process?  it must be so hard on you while you're waiting."  Even I catch myself thinking as I prepare support letters; "this is the hardest part of the process.  I hate asking people to send me money."  Wow, did I really just say that?  Send ME money?  That thought really crosses my mind?  Like I have the nerve to believe that I am just a nice enough guy that people will knock on my door and say, "Hello.  I know you don't know me and I don't have a clue who you are but you just seem like a good guy that could use a dollar.  Here you go."   The nerve of me!!!!
     Now, to all of our friends and family, please don't get us wrong because we love....LOVE...all of the support and prayers and everything that we get from you.  And we know that the motive is just.  The problem is that the focus is all wrong.  Our focus is wrong and we have led you to the point where your focus is wrong and for that I am sorry.  Let's change our thought process to statements such as "come to our fundraiser to raise money for the orphans of the world and to bring them home to a forever family.  We'll start with bringing one home and not give up as long as there are children needing homes."   Or maybe, "Where are you guys at in the process?  How can we be praying for this precious child until he is home in your arms?"  Or the change in my own thought process to, "I really don't like to ask for money for myself, but I pray that you will all understand that this is for a child that needs and deserves a forever family to love him and be there for him as he grows."   Because it's really not about us.  And it's not about you either.  I would love for all of you to support us and I truly believe that you will be blessed by taking part in the process.  But if you want to do it so that you can go to your inner circle and stand on a soap box saying, "guess what I did?  I gave money to bring home an orphan.  I was a part of their story.  I did this.  I did that.  I, I, I...."   If that's your motivation then I politely ask you to stop.  Stop pretending that God doesn't know what you're up to.  Stop pretending to yourself that you're holy for doing such a wonderful thing.  Heck, stop reading this blog if that is the only motivation that you have to be a part of an adoption -- some sort of pompous, self-assuring pat on the back.  Forgive me for being forward, but I know all of these mindsets because I've been there.  I've had to tell myself, "don't be so outspoken to let everyone know about this GREAT thing that you're doing."  "Don't play the martyr and tell everyone how expensive it is."   That's a good one, by the way.  I've even caught myself saying things such as, "oh it's hard.  And I still don't know how we're going to do it, but God will provide in His timing."   Nothing wrong with saying that, right?  Well, there is if your motivation is to let everyone know how poor and pitiful you are and how desperate you are for their help.  Pitiful?  Well, yes.  Just plain pitiful 
    I know I'm being quite vulnerable in sharing this, but I'm doing so to let you know that God has brought me to a new place of understanding.  A better place.  Let's go back to the story of the Israelites.  Think for a moment how hard it must have been.  How hard to trust and have faith while eating manna day after day after day.  How hard to be told that the promised land awaits while still waiting in the desert year after year after year.  I can see how it would be possible to believe that they had made a tactical error and that three meals and a roof over their heads in Egypt didn't look all that bad to them anymore.  Well, I'm thinking about our child that will be coming home to us and I wonder some things.  I wonder if they'll feel they will be leaving everything they've ever known.  Their home.  Their bed.  Their language.  Their foods.  Their customs.   What fears will they have about coming to a land where they don't know the people.  They don't speak the language.  They don't know how to tell the dog to stay down or how to say that their tummy is upset.  They may cry at night and not be able to explain exactly why.  It breaks my heart to know that there are so many children needing homes and it bothers me to think that, once adopted,  they'll be leaving the only home they have known up 'til now.    But God really did have the best interests planned for His people.  And just like the Israelites going to the promised land, this child will have the promise of a forever family.  A father and mother and siblings that will always be there.  And more importantly, he will meet the One that brought him into being in the first place.  What he'll do with that meeting will not be in our control, but you can be sure that we will arrange the conference.  Yes.  Shame on me for thinking at any time in this process that it is even remotely about me.  SHAME ON ME!!!
   So now that we've gotten that out of the way, where to do go?  It's really quite simple...we go to God's word.  Not to use scripture as leverage to make others feel bad about themselves.  Not so we can stand on the street corner and boast of the verses that we have memorized.  We go to God's word to dig deeply into His thoughts, dig deeply into His commands....just dig deeply into Him.   Michelle and I did not come to this process haphazardly.  We prayed over it and we followed God's lead.  I pray that many of you will follow us in support of these children.  Whether you support our adoption or someone else's adoption or if you adopt a child yourself really is not the point.  The point is that God calls us to get involved and to care for these little ones.  I truly believe that God has blessings to bestow on us for following Him when He calls.  In our instance, He has called us to adopt.  Will my blessing be having an organization call and say they want to fund our entire adoption?   I certainly hope not.  Because if our blessing in this process were to halt at the very beginning and to have anything to do with monetary values then we just aren't getting it.  The blessings will come in the little things like seeing our child chase after a butterfly in the front yard.  Or hearing giggles in the bedroom when they are supposed to be asleep.  Or hearing the belly laughs as the kids all sit around and tell stories about how ridiculous daddy can be.  Or hear the clapping and cheering as they score a basket, or hit a homerun, or play in the school band, or bring home a good report card, or graduate high school, or find a soul mate to share their life with, or bring their own child...a new Stewart...into this world.  No, the blessings don't stop at the adoption process.  That is merely the beginning.  Just like this lifetime is merely a beginning once we give our lives to Jesus.  At that point, even the next 80 years are just the beginning. 
  So shame on me for having the nerve to think that this process is about me.  And shame on me for having the nerve to think that this process is about adoption.  It's not.  It's about people; God's people.  It's about children.  It's about love.  Or as my 8 year old daughter likes to say, "It's all about Jesus and God." 
     So what does God's word say for just such an occasion?  Michelle has shared a version of a verse that I can't get out of my mind.  "...once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act."  Prov 24:12.
     He holds us responsible.  Responsible to act on what we see and know to be right in the eyes of our Lord.  Responsible to act with a right motive, one that puts these children first...and last...and always.  Responsible to act for absolutley no selfish gains and for no promises of prosperity other than the blessings of following God's call....no matter what that is.
    I was listening to a song today.  "If you can use anything Lord, you can use me...Take my hands Lord, and my feet.  Take my heart Lord, speak through me.  If you can use anything Lord, you can use me."  I'm here Lord.  Use me.  Won't those of you reading join me?  Follow the Lord in what He is calling you to do.  Don't pretend that you don't know.   Receive your blessings, the blessings of life.   The blessings of A life; that of a child.